You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
