I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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