accomplished twins. life is a go
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Randomize
