She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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