Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
