3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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