girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize