I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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