I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
