I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize