Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
