You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
