i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
i think we sleep fucked last night...
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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