I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
