who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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