...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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