my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
