how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
