I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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