Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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