just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
