dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
