I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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