is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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