My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize