Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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