It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
