I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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