i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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