she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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