Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Randomize