a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
