I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
