listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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