There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
