how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
