she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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