How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
The beer is more important than you right now.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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