ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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