Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
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