Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
