We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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