last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
she peed on how many people?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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