i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize