I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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