You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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