You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
