im so drunk with asians
where?
always
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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