i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
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