Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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