I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
