If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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