I cockslap morals
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
