I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
