I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
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