and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
