i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
