I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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