well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
