also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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