When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
