I'm going to rape someone's good day.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Randomize
