I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize