coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
