so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
We talked him into tasing himself.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
