and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
