If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
