piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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