Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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