i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
