so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I didn't notice because vodka
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
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